The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize