You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
