She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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