We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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