yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
oh god was she eating orange peels again
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
