Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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