You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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