I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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