you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
