Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
