Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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