i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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