Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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