I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
