OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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