Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
