I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
