OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
