Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
ttyl tear gas
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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