she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize