no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
