guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
