On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize