Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
