my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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