Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
