I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's never too late to be topless.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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