your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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