I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
