The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
