then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
