did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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