I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
