I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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