last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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