So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
