evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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