awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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