Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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