I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
