At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
