nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
