What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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