U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
