He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
