Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I am puke
I looked at my own cervix.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
