Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
