i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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