Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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