Can i not drive my cunt home
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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