I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
