my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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