Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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