omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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