Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
