real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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