I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
