Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
