I looked at my own cervix.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
