New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize