why didn't you poke me back
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
