We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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