Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
