no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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