i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
