you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
