problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
